Band all but gone...

[geezerpete]

I am sure that many of you have been here before. But my band has had some tempers flare and what was once a 5 piece is now a three piece, that could go down to two before the next sunset.

Man it hurts to see all that work and friendship get rattled so much. I hope we can start over again. Playing as a band has been such a kick.

Besides getting drunk... what is a guitar player to do? I don't play the blues.

[Steelpriest]

I hear you Geezerpete. I could tell sad stories as well... You have been working and playing with each other for years, you had been partying, boozing and shared dreams together. Then somewhen, sometimes all at sudden, everything changes, and people who considered each others as friends or even brothers (in my case we also celebrated christmas, etc. together, *sigh* ) become enemies, in my case even sued each other (for songwriting credits, bandname, etc., we had just signed a record deal!). But I guess this is known to almost all of us who played in bands for quite a while. Musicians are emotional people, often there are (too) big egos to be found, and we all seemingly found wannabees that only talk but have not much to offer to a band. Even the smoothest of us has suffered several temper tantrums in the past concerning co-musicians, but that´s the way it goes sometimes... My belief is:"Better be finished with some pain in the ass than being in a band that turns out to be horror without end"

[geezerpete]

Thanks, that is the way I have been feeling for a while.

We have played together for 3 years, but there has always been some that have made it difficult to fully enjoy the situation. A few of us decided to have a meeting and try to air out the issues, and it just escalated into one leaving out of pride, and another leaving because he felt badly for letting his frustruation with the first get out.

Our hope was to make us stronger, not destroy us. Time will tell if we can rebuild us.

Maybe I will call VHI and get us on 'Bands Reunited.'

[mandough]

It stinks for sure, but this will reveal who is really into the music being made, which, even more than the comraderie, is the point of a band in the first place. I hate to say it like that, but it's true.
If that thought is adheared to, then it will be easier to get along in the band, because none of the tough feelings that come up in practices will spill out into the daily lives of the group of people. It's like a role played out in the situations where the band plays, then, layed aside after the show or practice, so the group can be at ease with each other. It sure has saved my sanity through a bunch of stuff over the years.
And look at it this way--who wants to be the next Fleetwood Mac? Those people can't even stand each other, yet they are contracted to play. This might just be a good oportunity to find those whom you gel with better.

[Steelpriest]

Hmm. I rate comraderie to be the most important thing in a band. It makes things difficult, but on the other hand it makes other things bearable. You just need some time to realize and appreciate each others plus and minus and you will get along. Personally I am not interested in playing in a band only for the sake of music but dislike certain people in that band. I love to be among friends when it comes to making music. What is gained when you replace for example a bass player who is your pal, a decent but not amazing player, with a guy who can actually play better but remains a stranger to you? I am lead by emotions, and it´s easier to share them with friends. Just my opinion... When it comes to recruiting musicians the personal impression is by far more important than the musical skills. I hope this time I found a line up that is constant.

[ZacAttack]

Man I feel your pian. I could go on and on about this subject, dig up old hard feelings, maybe start some new ones. For me it comes down to this. It hurst, it sucks, it is not fair, it makes you mad, it makes you want to give up, throw down, throw up, hit something, break something and basicly go smooth off the handle. Well its only human to feel this way when something is taken from you, it was easier for me to loose girlfriends than my damn band. The only advice I can give you is this. You can either choose to suck it up and go on, or just throw it all away and quit. I have tried both, but I just couldn't stay quit. So here I am again in damn near the same boat you are, hoping things will get up and going sometime in 2005.

Good luck to both of us.

Zac

[mandough]

I didn't mean to imply that it isn't important to have comraderie in a band, cause we all know it is. I wouldn't play with people I don't like and enjoy their company. The big point I was going for in my rambling way is that all of the emotions that get unleashed in the practice room should not carry into the day to day lives of the folks involved. To me, the thing to do is get the job done in a nice way while playing and practicing, but any hard to deal with stuff that comes about in those situations should be left there when it's done.

[Steelpriest]

mandough said:

The big point I was going for in my rambling way is that all of the emotions that get unleashed in the practice room should not carry into the day to day lives of the folks involved.

But it does. And if you are able to master these tense moments or situations you finally found a real band. Being in a band is often like psycho-analysis and an everlasting lesson of self-awareness. Sometimes you´re the doctor, sometimes you´re the patient, lol! Like Zac said, I often was about to call it all a day and stay quit from making music, but I couldn´t. Losing people you once loved or at least liked is always a bitter experience. But what would you do when you lose a girlfriend? You will find another one... and what is left of a relation that is definetely over in love affairs and in music? Generally only the good memories remain... the bad ones often turn into ridiculousness after a while or you simply forget about them.

[ZacAttack]

Steelpriest said:

Being in a band is often like psycho-analysis and an everlasting lesson of self-awareness. Sometimes you´re the doctor, sometimes you´re the patient, lol!

That's no sh1t Dr. Steel ;D